QUESTION: Why Didn't I Stand Up for Myself?

Something happened in a training session today that I’ve been reflecting on…

There was a group of us on our weekly webinar. Our team was organized into groups of three: one observer, one designated 'client', and myself as the lead.  

The observer was anything but observing. She was disruptive and rude. Minimising.

And I didn’t say anything.

I sat there, nodding politely, even as my body tensed and my thoughts scattered. And the question that’s been echoing since? “Why didn’t I stand up for myself?”

Here’s the truth: I help people reclaim their voice for a living. I teach emotional resilience. Nervous system awareness. Boundaries.

But even with all that, I froze. Not because I didn’t know better. But because knowing isn’t always enough when old wiring kicks in.

The training room today wasn’t just a room. It was a trigger. A pattern. A moment that brushed against old stories running in the background – my subconscious.

Do you know around 90% of our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are driven by the subconscious?

I share this not because I need reassurance — but because I know I’m not the only one. We all have moments where our actions don’t align with our values.

Not because we’re weak — but because we’re human.

And being human means sometimes falling silent, then finding our voice again later.

It means noticing the freeze without turning it into shame. So instead of judging myself, I’m asking a gentler question now: "What part of me needed protection in that moment?"

We don’t talk enough about these moments.

But they matter. They shape us. And if we let them, they can guide us home to ourselves.

Have you ever frozen in a moment you wished you’d spoken up? What helped you find your voice again?

This week is European Mental Health Week – let’s talk about what makes us human…